This is a zine I did in the spring of 2019 when I applied to a university to study visual communication. One was supposed to make a zine with a cover and three spreads to include in the application, and the theme was "soul". It was supposed to contain text with 1500-2500 letters, marks and spaces, and illustrations of any sort, and not contain too big files. There were no other requirements nor guidelines. Just the vague theme of a soul. Okay. I did my best, and I made it as non-religious as possible because my country is mostly inhabitated by atheists. So I thought outside the Box Obvious, which would have included angels or something else from the Bible. However, I would say that the soul can't really be anything but religious, as it doesn't exist unless you believe in it as something separate from the body or its parts. It's not tangible, unlike the heart. That's why it's too abstract a theme to view in a scientific way, and I knew I would have to show it in story form that everyone could relate to, regardless of religion or the lack of it. And because I love writing poems and lots of people make poem zines, I made one of my own. This is my first ever zine, and I've been thinking about selling prints on Etsy, but then it's probably not going to be a great source of income for my poor unemployed self. So I'll likely not bother, at least not until I have something else to sell, too. But right now I'm posting it here for your viewing for free. The text within the pictures is in Finnish, but you can find the English translation under the pictures. I did the illustrations with watercolor pencils which I bought just for this project. I didn't even get to the entrance examination, by the way, so clearly they didn't appreciate my portrayal of the theme. But I'm proud of my work and I hope you like it, too. This story depicts the sad early life of Elliot Crane and one act of kindness that turned it around.
I lost my soul long ago Out the window it flew Escaped a shout so loud When he struck me down the ground “You’re good for nothin' You’re too weak, feeble and tender-minded A real man’s no whiner Don’t cry his eyes out for nothin'!” Thin was my heart already Black inside and flat like a slice of loaf Now it broke into the tiniest of pieces For what is a heart without a soul? Maybe I myself chuck it out For if this is love It couldn’t be worse, no doubt And I’ll never be wanting more I couldn’t tell anyone Kept it all to myself for a long time Covered my scars, toughened up my skin And buried my feelings deep Like none of those never existed at all
Alone I worried for a time Cried blood and gathered black above my head Barely got out the bed in the morning Or the front door slouching Like I was already dead Then you came around and asked, “Why do you cry?” I denied everything, I mean, I didn’t have no feelings Except maybe anger and anxiety Without a soul you’ve got no weakness So nothing could hurt me now “Something’s clearly not alright Why don’t you tell me? Maybe I can help” And I started talking to you As if things could turn worse from this plight
Carefully you listened, and then something happened You told me that it’s a strength to be oneself Even if the world asked you to change And somehow my mood got lighter, anger subsided I realized that you can’t have feelings without a heart There can’t be no heart without a soul Or a soul without a heart So never did they leave me It was just that my eyes were too blurry to see A day at a time forward we move With bright, clean wings we fly And because you accept part of my soul as your own Maybe, just maybe one day I’ll give it all to you