Juorukellot kilkattaa (in Finnish)
Haluatteko kuulla juorun tai pari? Vai totuuden? Ei kai sentään! Juorut ovat paljon kivempia! Tässä siis tulee… Keltatiilen rannan läheisyydessä Vantaalla järjestettiin 3.7. gaalatapahtuma, jossa oli oikea Hollywood-meininki kaikenmaailman julkkiksineen. Siihen osallistui myös ranskalainen Etelä-Suomen Trolliwoodissa asuva muusikko, alastonmalli ja leipuri Simon Deforest, joka lyöttäytyi heti manageri ja mediapersoona Nicolan seuraan kuulumisia vaihtamaan. Nicola […]
Décadent Prince Charming
(A Poem about Simon) Bonsoir, I’m a décadent Prince Charming! Yes, I love make-up and lace What about it? What do you say, I look like a matador? I don’t even eat meat, you know! I’m a décadent Prince Charming! At least in my own head Everybody hates me and undeservedly so For […]
It Must Be Hard
It must be hard Everyone wants a piece of you And yet you want no one Because you know they think you’re just a piece of scum Something to be used, chewed and spat out Take all this attention Give in to the flattery and pseudo ascencion Or be on your own A […]
S1E9: Everybody Here Wants You
Early in the next morning Elliot has a request to ask of one of the nurses… Somehow she’s able to use a video camera in the hospital and get this on film! Elliot wants to send this message to his loyal fan, Olga. Elliot (stares at the video camera with puppy eyes): “I’ve been […]
S1E8: It Ain’t Easy for a Hero
It’s 6 PM and 24 hours after Elliot was stabbed. He’s lying on the hospital bed after his operation the day before. Elliot (quietly humming): “Fall, fall, fall But not from too high Fall, fall, fall on me Let me catch you before you go Stay with me for as long as morning dew […]
The International Fashion Royalty Jet Set Diva Contest
My girl’s picture got sent to the contest fashionably at the last minutes. Name: Luna Helene (She doesn’t use her surname) Nationality: Is a citizen of both the UK and Finland, but has Greek blood from her mother’s side of the family Age: 26 Occupation: Actress and model Interested in: Men Also likes: Literature, […]
Part Six: When the Cat Is Away
This story ended here, but the characters continue in The Life and Tales of Elliot Crane. And Luna really took part in the International Fashion Royalty Jet Set Diva contest.
Part Five: Please, Do Make Yourself at Home
Part Four: Axl’s Letter
Part Three: It Happened in Paris
S1E7: The Assault
Elliot (singing): “Shell of an angel Why can’t they come as whole? I wanted her to be my home As I loved her so She landed right in front of me And I just wanted more More, more, more, more, more What on earth have I done to her To make her so full […]
S1E6: Talk About Art, Divinity and Good News
Elliot: “I’m screwed.” Female photographer: “What do you mean?” Elliot: “I called Ben, said that and asked him to come over, and he just answered: ‘In that case you don’t need me there! Sorry, I’m busy. See you tomorrow.’ Haa haa. He doesn’t take me seriously. Ben is supposed to be my best friend, […]
Part Two: The ‘Ideal’ Boyfriend
Part One: The Pilot
A comedy about entitled unemployed actors and their family relations in a time of recession.
S1E5: Groupie
Early November. Elliot (in a girl’s voice): “Toto, I’ve a feeling we ain’t in Kansas no more.” Ben: “Hah! Too right! Not in Memphis or NYC either.” Elliot (in a girl’s voice): “We must be over the rainbow!” Ben: “It’s so cold out here. Brrr!” Elliot: “I know… I forgot my gloves at […]
S1E4: India and the Jams
An hour later… Ben: “Okay, so you’re not gonna tell me about Choco and you now, but I swear I’ll dig that story out of you sooner or later!” Elliot (laughingly): “Yeah, ’cause you’re so sure about your manipulating skills.” Ben: “Tell me what’s going on with the other girls in your life, though. […]
S1E3: Bromance
Ben: “I never thought I’d see the day when you order nothing stronger than a coke in the bar! Wow! Rehab really did you good then, didn’t it?” Elliot: “Yeah well, I don’t spend five months outta my life for nothin’. I’ve been an absolutist for… mmm… nearly seven months now. And staying that […]
S1E2: Stalker
Elliot: “So, you didn’t get enough of me, did ya? And here was me thinking I scared you away already. Hah!” Female photographer: “Well, the publisher liked the article so much that they want to do another one. And they were there to see your gigs… Is it really true that you traveled over […]
So Flew the Birdie
So flew the birdie High above Along with the angels Far over the clouds To freedom and delight She went away To a place without pain Or sorrow, ever Through a golden gate Into a light so bright She is now fine But before she left us She told us about […]
It Was All for a Jest
I went to the woods one day Though heard there had been Other people there in the hay So I took my boy with me To test them stories And see what might be It was all for a jest But my boy was gone And futile was the quest A day and […]
The Aisle of Broken Dreams
I’m not close enough to receive the signal And I don’t have my ears open The aisle of broken dreams Only sings its eulogy to those who hear I have blinds on my eyes And not enough strength to remove them The forest of wild creatures Only shows itself to those […]
S1E1: Poster Boy
October, 2011. Elliot: “Ya know, I ain’t good at being photographed. I only do it because… ya know, you use your image to sell your music.” Female photographer: “It will go fine! Just relax. Hey, what’s that poster on the wall?” Elliot: “It’s behind the chair. Lemme lift it up a bit and […]
Sitting on Top of Amplifiers
When I die, I wanna sit high above This world singing that old tune That makes the Earth shake with laughter Never ending, forever continuing Celebrating life in the most extravagant ways Making it travel faster I wanna sit on top of amplifiers Looking at the blue sky Swinging from side to side […]
The Prey
The stars show your way Through the darkening woods The leaves soften your path And hide your foot marks from suspicious looks So you believe The wind speeds you up And softly strokes your tangled hair The time cures all your wounds And makes them that much easier to bear So you need […]
